Finding A Friend In Isolation

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Lynne,

It must be difficult and frustrating to move to a new area and not be able to build a friendship with a godly woman. However, I do believe there is a friend for you because God created us for relationships for many reasons, including to learn to love like He does. I agree with Robert South who said, "A true friend is the gift of God, and he only who made hearts can unite them".

I don't know what you have done in the twelve years you have lived in your community to try to establish a friendship, but here are some suggestions so the women in your town will get to know you better and be able to interact with you in different settings and vice versa:

• Get involved in church activities in whatever capacity the Lord leads you


• Show kindness to fellow church members and neighbors at every opportunity (Galatians 6:10), such as send cards to those on the church's prayer list, take a casserole when someone is sick or after a death in the family, visit senior citizens who are home bound


• Offer your home as a place for a Bible study/fellowship for the women or couples of your church


• Become a volunteer in a local ministry or charity


• When you have the opportunity, give your testimony about how God has worked in your life through your son's illness and death. I'm sorry you overheard remarks from ladies who stated they couldn't be your friend due to your son. I know that must have hurt you. Those remarks may have been made by women who were unsure of what to say to you and were afraid that whatever they did say would upset you. Hearing you talk about your son should put anyone who has that fear at ease with you.


• Don't limit your friendships to any particular age bracket. You can benefit from having friends of varying ages because they have had experiences that you have not had. On a personal note, I look forward to the second Wednesday of each month because that is when I have a standing lunch date with a wonderful Christian woman who is in her eighties!


• Since you know firsthand the difficulty of being in a new town and making friends, do all you can to make newcomers to your church and neighborhood feel welcome


• Invite a couple, whether they be from your church, your neighborhood or one of your husband's co-workers and his wife, to your home for coffee

These suggestions may seem risky because you will be putting yourself in a position where people can refuse your help or invitation, but don't let that stop you. What may seem like a risk is actually a step of faith, and maybe what God uses to cause your life to intersect with another godly woman who will become a friend to you.

Pray asking God to bring into your life a Christian woman to be your friend (Matthew 21:22). God will not withhold any good thing from you (Matthew 7:11). Trust His timing and remember that God's provisions for His children are always on time according to His perfect plan.

Also, ask God to help you become more like Jesus. You will become a better a friend the more you become like Jesus. No matter where a woman is in her spiritual life or how many friends she has, there will always be some Christ-like trait(s) that she will need to work on, such as loving others unconditionally (Romans 15:7), patience (Ephesians 4:2b), forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32) and humility (Philippians 2:3).

While it is good to have friends, including your husband, remember that no person can meet all of your needs. Only Jesus can meet your every need and complete you in every way. So in your pursuit to make friends, don't neglect your most important friend -- Jesus Christ, your Savior (John 15:14). When your relationship with Jesus deteriorates, every other relationship in your life will suffer.